Parshat Va'Yeira
In 21:10 Sarah is demanding Avraham send away Hagar and Yishmael. She says, "גרש האמה הזאת.." -banish this maidservant....
Why does Sarah call her "this maidservant" rather than calling her by her name and saying "banish Hagar"?
Sarah knew this is what needed to be done. It was dangerous for them to continue living in the house with Avraham, Sarah and Yitzhak. It was dangerous for the spiritual growth of the family and dangerous for the development of Yitzhak. She knew she had to banish them.
Sarah also knew that it would be very difficult for Avraham to do so. Avraham was the epitome of hessed. For him to banish them into the dessert would go against his grain. Not only that, but Hagar was a daughter of a king. She was his wife. She was the mother of his child. His child would be banished as well. This would indeed be very difficult for Avraham, even if he knew it had to be done.
Sarah used what we call in psychology "dissociation" in order to make it easier for Avraham to process and accomplish.
By calling her "maidservant" instead of Hagar, Avraham would be able to compartmentalize and think of it as if he is banishing his maidservant, which is much easier than banishing his wife Hagar.
When facing a difficult task, one can take lesson from Sarah and use dissociation in order to better accomplish it.
Showing posts with label Va'Yeira. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Va'Yeira. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Va'Yeira: using discretion
Parshas Va'Yeira
In 19:37, after the destruction of S'dom and the surrounding cities, the daughters of Lot decided they were the only survivors and they had to repopulate the world. The problem was the only man left alive was Lot, their father. That makes the relationship incestuous and forbidden. There were not other choices, so they went ahead, got him drunk and got themselves pregnant.
The older daughter named her child Moav, because he was born from her father. The younger daughter named her child Ben Ami.
Rashi says the older daughter was immodest in announcing to the world what she had done and therefore that is why later the Jews are told they can wage battle with Moav. The younger daughter was more modest by hiding the source, and that is why later the Jews are commanded to not fight with Amon.
We see from this story that sometimes you might be in a bind. You might be in a situation in which you have to do something unpleasant and wrong. But you might do it because you have no other choice.
So you do it. You don't have to be proud of it though. Keep it quiet. Keep it private. Don't announce your shameful act, that might even have been justified at the time, to the world.
Use a little discretion.
In 19:37, after the destruction of S'dom and the surrounding cities, the daughters of Lot decided they were the only survivors and they had to repopulate the world. The problem was the only man left alive was Lot, their father. That makes the relationship incestuous and forbidden. There were not other choices, so they went ahead, got him drunk and got themselves pregnant.
The older daughter named her child Moav, because he was born from her father. The younger daughter named her child Ben Ami.
Rashi says the older daughter was immodest in announcing to the world what she had done and therefore that is why later the Jews are told they can wage battle with Moav. The younger daughter was more modest by hiding the source, and that is why later the Jews are commanded to not fight with Amon.
We see from this story that sometimes you might be in a bind. You might be in a situation in which you have to do something unpleasant and wrong. But you might do it because you have no other choice.
So you do it. You don't have to be proud of it though. Keep it quiet. Keep it private. Don't announce your shameful act, that might even have been justified at the time, to the world.
Use a little discretion.
Va'Yeira: an honest days work
Parshas Va'Yeira
In 20:14-16 we find Avimelech getting rid of Avraham and Sarah and giving them cattle, money, land, etc. Why did Avraham accept it? When S'dom offered him money Avraham refused it claiming people would think S'dom made him rich instead of Hashem. Why here was he not concerned people might say Avimelech made him rich rather than Hashem?
And if you want to differentiate and say S'dom was bad and Avimelech was not, so such an impression that his wealth came from evil sources is much worse, Avraham already said in passuk 11 that this is a place with no fear of heavan.. so what is the difference?
Maybe the answer comes in passuk 17. It says that Avraham prayed for Avimelech and his people.
This money is now money that was not given to Avraham. he was not made wealthy by Avimelech. he earned that money. he provided a service. He worked for his money.
Once he worked for the money, nobody can claim he was made wealthy or that he got it from improper sources. he earned it. Nobody can take away from you an honest days work.
In 20:14-16 we find Avimelech getting rid of Avraham and Sarah and giving them cattle, money, land, etc. Why did Avraham accept it? When S'dom offered him money Avraham refused it claiming people would think S'dom made him rich instead of Hashem. Why here was he not concerned people might say Avimelech made him rich rather than Hashem?
And if you want to differentiate and say S'dom was bad and Avimelech was not, so such an impression that his wealth came from evil sources is much worse, Avraham already said in passuk 11 that this is a place with no fear of heavan.. so what is the difference?
Maybe the answer comes in passuk 17. It says that Avraham prayed for Avimelech and his people.
This money is now money that was not given to Avraham. he was not made wealthy by Avimelech. he earned that money. he provided a service. He worked for his money.
Once he worked for the money, nobody can claim he was made wealthy or that he got it from improper sources. he earned it. Nobody can take away from you an honest days work.
Va'Yeira: playing charades
Parshas Va'Yeira
In 20:16 Avimelech tells Sarah, "I gave a thousand pieces of silver to your brother.."
Why did he not say "to your husband"? he already found out about the deception and that is why he is sending them away? Why keep up the charades? He knows, they know he knows, so why "your brother"?
One could say it shows the importance of keeping up social niceties. Sure he knew. They knew he knew. He is even throwing them out of his land over this incident. But you don't call out a person directly.
They told him they are brother and sister, it is impolite to say otherwise, even though he knew the truth.
Anybody got anything better?
In 20:16 Avimelech tells Sarah, "I gave a thousand pieces of silver to your brother.."
Why did he not say "to your husband"? he already found out about the deception and that is why he is sending them away? Why keep up the charades? He knows, they know he knows, so why "your brother"?
One could say it shows the importance of keeping up social niceties. Sure he knew. They knew he knew. He is even throwing them out of his land over this incident. But you don't call out a person directly.
They told him they are brother and sister, it is impolite to say otherwise, even though he knew the truth.
Anybody got anything better?
Thursday, November 09, 2006
ambiguous
Parshat Va'Yeishev
We read about the akeida. Hashem tells Avraham what he wants from him. In 22:2 Hashem says, bring your son, etc.. " והעלהו שם לעולה" - bring him up there as a sacrifice.
Rashi already tells us that Hashem never said to actually slaughter Yitzchak. He only told him to bring Yitzchak up.
Did Avraham misunderstand Hashem and what He wanted? Did Avraham make a (nearly fatal) mistake?
I guess that for it to be a good test, Hashem had to find a way to say it ambiguously, using a word that implies offering it up for a korban but could be interpreted differently, so He could retract later. Avraham seems to have misinterpreted the ambiguity of God, but that was the point.
We read about the akeida. Hashem tells Avraham what he wants from him. In 22:2 Hashem says, bring your son, etc.. " והעלהו שם לעולה" - bring him up there as a sacrifice.
Rashi already tells us that Hashem never said to actually slaughter Yitzchak. He only told him to bring Yitzchak up.
Did Avraham misunderstand Hashem and what He wanted? Did Avraham make a (nearly fatal) mistake?
I guess that for it to be a good test, Hashem had to find a way to say it ambiguously, using a word that implies offering it up for a korban but could be interpreted differently, so He could retract later. Avraham seems to have misinterpreted the ambiguity of God, but that was the point.
my responsibility
Parshat Va'Yeishev
We read about the incident in which the angels show up in Lot's house in S'dom.. Lot brings them in. The people of the town hear that Lot has guests and they come to "arrest" them. It is unclear what they really wanted to do with the guests, some opinions say sodomistic purposes, others say torture. Lot says in 19:8 not to take the guests rather I have two daughters, take them.
How could Lot offer his daughters to them? If you say he felt responsible for hsi guests and could not give them up at any cost (as Rashi says) and therefore he had to offer his daughters in their places, should he not feel responsible for his daughters well being as well? He should have offered himself in their place!
Maybe he knew they would not take him because he was one of them, so the only alternative was to offer his daughters. I just fail to understand how a father could offer his daughters to such an evil plan..
We read about the incident in which the angels show up in Lot's house in S'dom.. Lot brings them in. The people of the town hear that Lot has guests and they come to "arrest" them. It is unclear what they really wanted to do with the guests, some opinions say sodomistic purposes, others say torture. Lot says in 19:8 not to take the guests rather I have two daughters, take them.
How could Lot offer his daughters to them? If you say he felt responsible for hsi guests and could not give them up at any cost (as Rashi says) and therefore he had to offer his daughters in their places, should he not feel responsible for his daughters well being as well? He should have offered himself in their place!
Maybe he knew they would not take him because he was one of them, so the only alternative was to offer his daughters. I just fail to understand how a father could offer his daughters to such an evil plan..
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
did he know or not?
Parshat Va'Yeira
The parsha starts off with the story of the three angels who come to Avraham appearing as men. They eat, drink and make merry and give over the information they need to give over. In 18:9 the angels ask Avraham "Where is Sarah your wife?"
If Avraham did not know they were angels, how was he not curious how they knew he had a wife and her name was Sarah that they should ask about her? And if he did know they were angels, why did he bother with the trouble of making lunch for them, slaughtering a bull and baking bread, etc, knowing they would not eat it because they are angels?
Anybody?
The parsha starts off with the story of the three angels who come to Avraham appearing as men. They eat, drink and make merry and give over the information they need to give over. In 18:9 the angels ask Avraham "Where is Sarah your wife?"
If Avraham did not know they were angels, how was he not curious how they knew he had a wife and her name was Sarah that they should ask about her? And if he did know they were angels, why did he bother with the trouble of making lunch for them, slaughtering a bull and baking bread, etc, knowing they would not eat it because they are angels?
Anybody?
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