Sunday, November 15, 2009

Chayei Sarah: Responsibility

In Parshat Chayei Sarah we find the Torah going through great length and detail in relating the story of how Eliezer, servant of Avraham, searched for a wife for Yitzchak. Not only does it go through unusually lengthy detail in relating the story, it repeats it a second time also in great length and detail, as Eliezer reviews the events for Lavan, Rivkah's brother.

Rashi quotes a saying by Rav Acha that this shows us how beloved the simple talk of the servants of the forefathers were to Hashem, much more so than even the actual Torah of the future generations.

But still, I ask, why spend so much time describing these events in such great detail? No matter how beloved Eliezer was, there are other important lessons that can be taught to us in that amount of space. If it reviewed it in such detail, it must be teaching something.

It must be that the Torah is telling us that we can even look to the slaves of the forefathers for lessons in how we should be living and behaving.

Eliezer said, when relating to Lavan, that, after Avraham appointed him to the job of searching for a wife, he had responded to Avraham - what do I do if I find a woman and she chooses to not come back with me to marry Yitzchak. Rashi explains that Eliezer had a daughter and he wanted to propose her hand in marriage for Yitzchak. He was suggesting that if he cannot find a wife, perhaps Avraham would consider his own daughter as a wife, even though they were from Canaan.

Even without it being his own daughter, surely he wanted to marry Yitzchak to a neighbor or a cousin or friend. He wanted to be released from his oath and suggest a Canaanite girl.

Despite the conflict of interests in which Eliezer found himself, he still accepted the job which Avraham had appointed him to. And Avraham trusted him to fulfill it faithfully.

The torah repeats the story of Eliezer in such great detail because it shows us that despite Eleiezer's personal preference, and despite his conflict of interests, Eliezer had accepted upon himself a certain responsibility - he made a commitment - and he put aside his personal issues and fulfilled his commitment.

I said this dvar torah at my sons bar mitzvah shabbos on Parshat Chayei Sarah 5770. I concluded the dvar torah by adding that if there is one thing I hope we have taught you while we were raising you, it is that idea of commitment and responsibility.
Sometimes you have to do things that are less than pleasant, that conflict with other things you find important, that present you with a dilemma. Life is not always easy, and often a job you get is not exactly what you want or find to be in your best interests.

But when you accept a responsibility, and commit to doing something, we can look at Eliezer and see that you have to put aside your personal issues and fulfill your commitment.

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